My mother’s cremation had been one of the biggest decisions of her life, and it meant a lot to her.
In the summer of 2000, her ashes were brought to my hometown of San Jose, California.
As I recall, I was the only child in the house at the time, and I had to go with my grandmother to the funeral home.
We drove out to a small parking lot, and there I found a small casket that was draped in white sheeting.
It was wrapped in a white cloth and covered in white tape.
My mother had written a note on the casket with a photo of my dad.
She had written that my father died at age 55 of complications from pancreatic cancer.
My grandmother had also been diagnosed with pancreatic disease, but had survived.
I was so excited when my mother handed me the caskets casket, she had put a card inside with her photo on it, and that card said, “You’re my baby.”
I couldn’t stop crying when she brought me back home that night.
She’d died the day after my father had died, and she was the mother of my entire family.
When I came home that fall, I cried even harder.
I started crying even harder and asked my mom why she hadn’t brought me a casket.
She said, My father had been a police officer and had taken his own life.
She didn’t know if I could take my father, and as I was thinking about my father I thought, How could I take my mother?
She took my father to the police station and told them everything.
When they asked my mother if she wanted to be cremated, she said, No.
She never wanted to go through that again.
My mom said, I’ll be cremating him on a funeral pyre.
When she said that, she broke down and cried so hard that I cried for a long time.
I remember sitting there in the car and crying for about three hours.
I cried that much when my father passed away.
I felt so broken and helpless that day.
I also remember my grandmother saying, My grandfather is going to be buried in a cemetery in the area, and he was an officer in the California Highway Patrol.
So, she wanted me to come back home and bury him at the cemetery in San Jose.
I asked her if she would like to be my mother, and the next day, she wrote that note on my casket and handed it to me.
It said, Your father was an American police officer.
My father’s body was found on the side of the road by a young man who was walking his dog.
I wanted to come home to the cemetery, and my grandmother said, Don’t do that.
I couldn, but she wouldn’t let me.
I didn’t want to come to the crematorium and bury my grandfather.
She put a big black bow on the grave and put the cowl on my father.
Then, I had a funeral that week.
I went home and cried for days.
Then my mom told me, I have to have him buried there.
I took the bow off and put it on my grandfather’s grave.
My grandfather died that same day, but he was cremated on the same day.
So I came back to San Jose the following fall and buried my grandfather in a private casket in the church.
It’s been about a decade since I buried my father and I still don’t know how I survived.
It all came to a head when I was in junior high school.
One day, I decided to walk around town with a friend and my friend asked me, “Where did you get your name?”
I was 17 years old.
He asked, “Are you from a country called San Jose?”
I said, Yeah, I’m from San Jose in California.
I said to him, I know how you feel, I don’t think it’s possible to live in that country.
He said, How did you end up here?
I said I grew up in San Francisco.
He responded, How?
Then, he said, You’re the son of a cop.
He called me “cop.”
He said I had been the youngest kid in a small town in California for two years.
When he told me I was a police detective, I said that I didn’ think so.
He told me that he had heard me say that.
So that was the beginning of the end of my relationship with my father as I grew older.
I never really knew my father for a couple of years.
I thought he was a nice guy, and after he got married and had kids, he moved back to his hometown of Santa Clara.
I would go with him on errands, and we would hang out.
I used to call him by his nickname, the “Coffee Man.”
I loved him and was always happy to see him.
One time, he wanted to buy a bicycle. I told